i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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