Umm I'm too high to move.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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