I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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