Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
