I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
