What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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