I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You are the jesus of drinking
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
