Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
