Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
