So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
