Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize