dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
