three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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