This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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