tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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