there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
