you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
