you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
