Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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