Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
