is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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