Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
