shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just cropdusted the office
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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