bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
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I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
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Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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