apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
