you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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