and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize