I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
This girl is more easily done than said...
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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