So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
