The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize