I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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