Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Pants are for mortals
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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