You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
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