You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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