I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize