first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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