Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
