But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
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that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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