Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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