I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
