I don't think brook has ever known best
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
