Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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