why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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