Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize