i don't like sucking hair
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
