i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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