He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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