I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
