they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
