All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
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I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
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I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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