i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
