nut hugger
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
