Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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