Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
