He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
