Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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