bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Your dad touched me again.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
