D3 body, D1 cock
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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