I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
